12/30/2014

A Hot Shower with Helena

I don't normally name my cars. In fact, I've never named a car. I nicknamed my hatchback Hatchy but, I never really thought of it as a name. It was just a quick way of saying: The hatchback. This one was different though. This 328 had spoken to my soul somehow. This little silver beauty, although not perfect, was exactly what I was looking for. It didn't seem fair to not give her a name. 

You can force things like names. They have to fall in place. I had talked about this same thing prior with Jeremy when we first got the car but, I wanted some time to think about it. It was time to give the poor car a good cleaning. We had taken the passenger side seat out of the car to check what color the seat reclining gear was. This allowed full access to give the carpets a good scrub and vacuuming*.

The carpet was not terrible by any means. In fact it looked as if someone may have tried cleaning the front and rear sections before. You can never get all the crevasses with the seats in though. Under the passenger seat we found where the Strawberry smell was coming from. A long forgotten scent can of the strawberry variety lay wedged under there. Yum, yum. To the trash it goes.

The smoky essence still laid thick in the black carpet. We have some really decent Enzyme cleaner called Branch Basics. My wife mixed it with some lavender essential oils so I had an ever so slight scent of that which didn't bother me. I sprayed the carpets down fairly well. Then, you wait. The buggers gotta eat for a bit. There was what looked like some soda spilled around the shoddy cup holders. I gave that one a second spray down.

I didn't have a good brush so instead I used a few microfiber towels. I wish I had taken a picture of the mess that came up out of that carpet. Blackened goop from the ages. The car was smelling fresher already. It took some time and a good bit of muscle but, the passenger side carpet was looking pretty good. 

  The inside of all the windows had that smoker haze as well. Unfortunate. Some Windex, newspaper, and more microfiber towels fixed those up as well. The other interior pieces I had touched so far were all sticky. No Windex for those of course. Again back to my enzyme cleaner. I wiped down all the dash pieces, door cards, and other assorted interior plastics. I pulled the nasty steering wheel cover off. It ripped at the seams while I tried sliding it off the wheel. It was disgusting. I cleaned the shift knob and steering wheel at least a dozen times. There was a lot of glitter on this stuff.


Everything at this point was less sticky, glittery, and smoky. Awesome! Since the car was attractive from the outside but, gross inside it got me thinking. The car wasn't old enough to be a Helga but, I liked the ring to Helena. Attractive from the outside but, scary to get into for multiple reasons... A perfect fit for my little 328. So Helena it is. I don't think I'll ever get all the glitter out either which, is kind of fitting.

Now it was time for a good shower of the outside of the little lady. After giving the car a good cleaning outside the flaws in the paint work are more noticeable. I have a few areas I need to address. Nothing major but, they stand out to me. Overall the body was in good shape for its age. It still looked clean and there was no peeling clear coat or rust. I was a proud man person standing beside my freshly washed Helena. Never mind the car was auto and the front suspension was shot. Oh and you know I tire shined the hell out of those fresh kicks!


*I honestly wish I would have shampooed the carpet. Not that its a huge deal to do at this point. Just saying.

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